And that’s good.
I once had a friend say to me, “you’re different than you were when we were close.” Granted, I hadn’t met them for years, but I didn’t feel like there was a lot that had changed about me. I had no answer for them. But I had a lot of thoughts.
I spent days thinking about what about me had changed significantly. I worried that I would lose friends over this ‘change’ in me. I never really found the answer — not consciously, at least.
We all go through changes. It’s inevitable. Sometimes we try to stop it, maybe because we fear we’ll lose our closest friends, maybe because we think we’ll become worse people, or maybe we’re just afraid of change inherently.
But maybe it’s time to accept it and understand that change is not only normal — it’s good.
We have no obligation to be the same people we were 5 years ago.
Your beliefs will change. Your interests will change. Your sense of humor will change. What you value, and what you don’t, will change.
Embrace that change. It means that you’re growing as a person. It means that you’re improving. And even when you feel like your change makes you hit rock bottom, accepting that you can change means that you have nowhere to go but up from there.
Yes, change comes with costs. You might lose friends. But that’s okay. The first thing to note is that it’s not (entirely) your fault. Just like how you’ve changed, they’ve changed too, and maybe you realize that you’re heading in different directions. The second thing to note is that some people will accept you and love you no matter what kind of person you become — not to mention that change will also lead you to new possible friendships.
So yes, you’re not the same. Yes, the people you once knew as friends are now strangers. No, you shouldn’t blame yourself.
You’ve changed — and that means that you’re growing.
In the words of the Robinson’s, all you can do is to keep moving forward.