Short Break #8: Missing Out
Welcome back to another short break.
I have been off of social media for god knows how many days now. I’ve honestly lost count.
I could count it if I wanted to. But there’s really no point.
The nice thing about dropping off social media is that people check in on you from time to time, just to ask how you’re doing. A few friends have done that and I very much appreciate it.
In a way, social media gives us a feeling of proximity, a feeling of being close to someone, despite never actually talking to them and actually trying to get to know how their life actually is. And so these 1-on-1 connections are nice — actually talking to people about how they’re doing instead of just feeling like you know they’re okay based on what they post on their Instagram story.
But I do miss social media sometimes. In the beginning, it felt like I was missing out on a lot. I didn’t know when my friends were hanging out, or what new trend was happening on TikTok, or which celebrity made a new blunder on Twitter.
But I’ve got over it now. I’ve accepted that I’m missing out on a lot — and I’m very much okay with it.
Some people promote the belief of JOMO. FOMO, the much more popular term, means you have a fear of missing out. JOMO is the reverse of that, where you feel joy on missing out.
I wouldn’t say I have JOMO. Or FOMO. I’m just acknowledging the fact that I’m missing out on a lot of things.
I think I’ve learned to accept the reality that I’m always going to miss out on things — whether I’m on social media or not. I’m not always going to be invited to my friends' parties. I’m not always going to join a super cool event. I’m not always going to be able to go to a concert I wanted to go to.
Sometimes — well actually a LOT of the time — things don’t go the way you wanted to.
But what you have to realize is that everyone is missing out on something. No one can be everywhere at once. No one makes all the right choices. No one gets to live the perfect life.
We are mere mortals, bounded by the rules of space, time, and physics. We each only get 24 hours in a day, and we can always only be at one place at one time. We’re not mystical beings capable of being present everywhere, nor do we have magical trinkets like Hermione to do everything we want to (or maybe we do, but what would I know I’m just a Muggle).
You’re going to miss out on a lot of things. And that’s okay.
You’re going to miss out on getting that job. You’re going to miss out on dating that girl. You’re going to miss out on some of your friends' hangouts.
So what?
You can’t be everything for everyone.
What you can do is live your life, however it pans out.
Don’t focus too much on the things you’re missing out on that you forget to enjoy the things you aren’t missing out on.
Each of us is living our own adventure. Our own journey. Sure, sometimes it sucks, but sometimes it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, you best be sure you’re present to experience it fully — not thinking about all the things you’re missing out on.
Sometimes things don’t happen the way we want to. But maybe it happens the way it’s supposed to happen.
Don’t spend too much time worrying about the what if’s. Focus on the what is.
Everyone is missing out too. Everyone is just as lost as you.
You’ll be all right. You’re living your own party for one.
Enjoy it. Enjoy your own journey. Enjoy it so much that people will feel like they’re missing out on your life.
Because they definitely are.
See you in the next break.
