Be Happy, and Tell No One

Is our happiness reliant on other people’s knowledge of it?

I’m trying to social media detox. I’ve done it before, but this time has been much more extreme than any previous attempts.

I deactivated all of my Instagram accounts. I deactivated my Twitter. I deactivated my Facebook. No social media at all.

The last few times, I always half-assed it. I’d deactivate Instagram, but then spend hours scrolling through Twitter. Delete Twitter and Instagram, then spend all my time doing dumb Buzzfeed quizzes I found on Facebook.

This time, it’s different.

Do we need other people to know that we’re happy to truly feel like we are?

Nowadays, it certainly seems like it. We post our happy moments on social media, in the hopes for a response, some likes, a few comments, which further increase our happiness.

But that’s not sustainable. We rely so much on validation from other people that we dig ourselves into a deep hole of self-doubt, the only lifeline being other people’s likes, compliments, and/or acknowledgement.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe it’s enough to tell ourselves that “your writing is good.” It’s enough to be happy on our own, without comparing said happiness to other people’s happiness.

Social media is great, don’t get me wrong. It keeps friendships alive, it connects you with strangers, it’s a creative outlet.

But don’t make it your lifeline. Allow yourself to be happy without telling others, or relying on others to validate your happiness.

Happiness doesn’t have to be lavish vacations. It doesn’t have to be getting a new car, or buying a new phone. It doesn’t have to be getting the best grades, or winning competitions.

Happiness can be as simple as curling up with a good book. As simple as sharing a good meal with a loved one. As simple as learning to cook the perfect Indomie. As simple as running a bit farther than you did yesterday. It can be as simple as starting to write 100 words a day again.

Your happiness is yours, in whatever form it comes in. If you think you’re happy, you don’t need anyone else to tell you that it’s true.

This is Day 12 of my 100 Words a Day project.