a minimarket at 2 am.

i sit alone under the fluorescent lights, sipping a bottle of water and reluctantly picking at some pocky i bought for the right to sit here. i don’t know how long i’ve been here. i don’t know how much longer i’ll be sitting here.

my only company is a woman, sitting in a chair as far as possible from me. this is not so much her choice as it was mine – i am not sure of the social protocols at 2 AM, and i don’t intend to test the boundaries tonight.

i don’t feel sleep inching in just yet – it’s there, waiting on the edges of my consciousness, ready to pounce the moment my head hits a bed. but for now i sit in a uncomfortable metal chair, waiting for a message i’m not sure will come.

the streets are empty at this time of night, let alone two dogs sniffing at each other, then running together off in the night. i sometimes wonder how it would be like to live their lives – free from any ties, free to roam the streets, free to do whatever and be wherever. of course, this looks past the fact that they scrounge for scraps to fill their bellies. but i enjoy my half second fantasy, as brief as it is.

i scroll through my social media feeds, reading the same tweets and seeing the same photos. it is not dopamine inducing, as it should be. but merely a distraction, a temporary escape from the harrowing state i’m currently in. i scroll to the top, refresh, and work my way down again.

the woman is now in the middle of a phone call, speaking in English to an unknown caller. i hear bits about her loneliness, then hears her turn on her bike and drive away. i hope that she has a good night, one void of loneliness, self doubt, or sadness.

10 minutes have passed and nothing has happened yet. i am not sure how long i’ll be sitting here. but i have nowhere else to go.

and so i wait.